He tries and tries and tries to make her love him
He’d break his neck without a second thought
He tells himself she’s thinking fondly of him
Even though he knows she’s probably not

He labors sadly unappreciated
In some kind of codependent blur
But until the masochist in him is sated
He’d prefer to get his punishment from her

Don’t get him wrong. He’s not trying to be a pity-hog
He’s just so happy when he’s down
He would be her stooge; he’d gladly be her dog
If she would only throw his heart around

He’s spent almost half of his life in therapy
Even his shrink is getting bored
But even though he asks himself “what’s wrong with me?”
He knows he loves to be ignored

Don’t get him wrong. He’s not trying to be a pity-hog
He’s just so happy when he’s down
He would be her stooge; he’d gladly be her dog
If she would only throw his heart around

He’d profess his love from the top of the highest hill
He’d write her name up in the sky
He’d recite “what light?” beneath her windowsill
Anything to try to catch her eye

Don’t get him wrong. He’s not trying to be a pity-hog
He’s just so happy when he’s down
He would be her stooge; he’d gladly be her dog
If she would only throw his heart around
He spreads the word himself all over town
He’s at his happiest when he’s down

Penguin waves a nervous wing. Penguin’s in love!
Walrus fights the urge to sing.
This is what she’s dreamed of!
Penguin says,
“We’ll make jokes about our physical differences
With backyard neighbors over white picket fences.
We’ll make sure they’ve got nothing to do
But laugh about how much I love you.”

Penguin overcomes his fear and gives walrus a kiss.
Walrus sheds a happy tear.
She’s always dreamed of this.
Penguin says,
“I’ll keep house, I’ll watch over the babies.
I’ll be the very model of domesticity.
I’ll make sure you’ve got nothing to do
But laze around letting me love you.”

Penguin rests his sleepy head by walrus’ side.
Walrus says, “I must be dead. I’m in heaven…
Have I died?”

The baby’s growing up so fast
Pretty soon I won’t even know her
She looks so far away through the glass
Maybe could you send me a picture?

Come on Carmen… pull it together
You’ve got to try to hang on
I talked to the warden. He said my behavior
Will have me out before long
I’ll be home before long

There’s something I should tell you about
I had another visit from Schaeffer
He’ll be waiting for me when I get out
But this time we’re gonna play it safer

It’s good money, and he knows I’m good for it
And this time we won’t get caught
Come on honey… you know I can’t quit
This is all I’ve got
Schaeffer’s all I’ve got

I can’t handle the straight life
I ain’t smart like you
I don’t like it any more than you do, babe
But it’s all I know how to do
This is what I do

I’m no good for the straight life
I ain’t smart like you
I don’t like it any more than you do, girl
But it’s all I know how to do
This is what I do

The baby’s growing up so fast

Love, don’t stay long in her arms
‘Cause my heart’s full to breaking
I’m waiting for you

Love don’t fall prey to her charms
‘Cause I’m here for the taking
I’m waiting for you

It’s hard to let go when you can’t see the future
When the future seems so far
I know, I know you’re not ready for the future
But I’ll be right here waiting until you are

Love don’t you be too alarmed
It’s a tough choice you’re making
But I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting for you

© 2001, 2011 Aaron Wrixon.

Forgive the intrusion, but I’ve reached a conclusion
I’m alleging collusion between your heart and mine

I was minding my business when your heart the temptress
Came dressed up in sweetness, and mine fell into line

Then all of sudden everything changed
My common sense up and left me alone
My priorities somehow got rearranged
It was like my heart had a mind of its own

There’s no explanation for my tribulation
But premeditation between your heart and mine

Then all of sudden everything changed
My heart fell hard for everyone to see
My priorities somehow got rearranged
Cupid’s having a good laugh on me

There’s no explanation for my tribulation
But premeditation between your heart and mine

© 2001, 2011 Aaron Wrixon.